Monday, November 06, 2006

Scary story

It was a dark stormy, very loud night, a boy who lives with just him, his dog and his parents. His parents were leaving for the night, he thought he could handle it, or could he?
Well after he waved his parents goodbye, he was hungry as a elephant, so he started to make some left over pizza. But as he opened the box of pizza there was all blood! He screeched in fear, he dashed to his room as fast as a cheetah. He hid in his bed for 20 minutes. Steadily over time he built up courage to go outside.
As he opened the door he saw his dead deranged dog cut up on the floor as the eyes were beating on him like sun rays on a summer day. He busted out crying, now he tried to call the cops but the phone lines were down. He dashed for the doors, but they were all locked! He knew something was up. Click Clack, Click clack as he tiptoed fastly to his dad’s gun.
As he swung the door open he sprinted to the door to look for the gun he heard loud thumps coming towards him. “Oh my god”! As the sounds got closer and closer and CLOSER!! “I got it”! He pulled it out, turned around and saw the horrible looking man with a green hair, and warts on his face, blood on his shirt, like a wet markers ink, and his dogs head in his hand. The boy quickly fired the gun. “Wham, splat”, as he shot him in the head and the splat of the brains on the floor. He wanted to see who he was, but he realized it was his own dad!!
After he realized the killer was his dad he shot himself in the head next to his dad. Ever since then the dog creeps the streets at night and the dad haunts the house.

10 comments:

KT said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
KT said...

Nice story a bit bloody but very good, it probly should have been a little bit longer of a storie but it had every thing it needed to make a great story i like when you made sound effects like click clik click it makes it feel more realistic and more fun to read! nice story !!!!!

PMP said...

nice story! I really liked the sound effects that you made it made your story more suspensful. Although I do think that you could have made it longer and added more details to make it better. GREAT JOB!

M.M293 said...

Very nice story. I like the dialouge you used throughout. Very gruesome and the sound effects were great. good work!

CF101 said...

This was a good story. throught the story it was deatailed and bloody and it made me want to keep on reading it curious to what will happen next in the story,good work.

s.e.c. said...

That was a great story. It was short and to the point, I llike it. I nearly jumped out of my seat when I read the part where the boy shot himself and the dad.

VS said...

You are very discriptive. For example, the strange guy [who turns out to be the dad] has green hair and warts on his face. Very creative ;]

JMR1 said...

Great story , alot of creepy parts to this and nice detail .I like sound effects and the storyline has a quick actiony horror to it.And the story should be longer, as they say "The story must go on".

aac said...

I liked all of the similies that you used. I agree with Liz about the graphics. I also liked the story being extreamly bloody. I also agree with kt and how the sound effects made it feel more relastic. The suspensfulness in the whole story kept the reader interested. Great Story! It really looked like you put a lot of time and effert into this story even though it was short!

MCR said...

Great story. The hole dad is the killer thing was really cool. Don't change a thing.