Monday, November 06, 2006

A long time ago in 2004, in a small village called Plantville, two friends named Paul and Mary were always looking for things to discover.Paul was quite smart, and had blue eyes and dark hair and Mary was very beautiful and had black eyes, and long dark hair. They had know each other since they were little, and they were best friends, similar to a brother and sister relationship.
One day they were playing soccer outside as usual, when Mary noticed something moving inside a window’s house. Paul and Mary perfectly knew the house had been abandoned since the 1700s. Every kid in Plantville was scared of even looking at that house. But Paul and Mary decided it was time to uncover the mysterious secret that haunted both of them. They came up with a plan to meet at 9.00pm on the street; it would all be dark by then.
At 9.00pm, they were both ready to start their investigation. They decided that Paul would go in while Mary watched nobody came. Paul’s heart was beating fast as he entered the mansion; he didn’t know what could happen if something go wrong. Paul told Mary he was in, so Mary could go in too. Once they were both in the house, it was time for the show to begin. Mary and Paul walked through the house uncomfortably and found nothing but old things like candlesticks, long dirty tablecloths, it actually looked like it had never been cleaned up after the house was abandoned.
Suddenly they heard a creaking noise, BOOM!!!, and a door opened. Paul and Mary froze and couldn’t open their mouths. A voice which came out more as a growl said, “Look for the past’s history” Paul and Mary came out thinking about what they had heard. The next day, they came out to play when Sarah and Jamie, both friends and sisters, told Paul and Mary they were crazy. “We saw you last night” Jamie said looking furiously at both of them."We'll spill the beans if ;we see you again going back there", Sarah told Paul and Mary. Paul and Mary couldn’t care less, and decided to go back to the house the following night, now at 10.30pm, so they were sure no one was watching them.
This time, Paul found a room in the house, which looked like it was an office back at the time. He saw a desk, and opened the drawers. With Mary’s help, Paul found a diary, “I think I know what the voice was trying to tell us last night!” Paul exclaimed. He opened the diary with a key they found under it, and read it. The diary was written by a 32 year old woman named Julia; she was born in 1632 and had written this diary so that people would know what had happened to her and her family. Julia wrote that she was a normal housewife with her husband and five kids. She also explained how people mistreated their family because they were from Russia. She said that at her husband’s work, people gained $1,000 a year, while doing the exact same job, Ronald, her husband, gained $800 a year. Also Julia wrote how her kids were given bad grades for no reason at school, and how in general, people insulted them.
Since that day, Paul and Mary made new friends, and made up a club named ‘WE ARE ALL THE SAME’, with people of many different races. The house had been demolished and they build a church in the same place. Paul and Mary still have Julia’s diary, and even tough they had never heard her voice again, nor sounds or anything, they know Julia is somewhere feeling happier than ever.

2 comments:

jrb said...

i think your story is very intersting, however you should put more details and make it longer. the plot is pretty good and i like the creativity of being that they are from russia was good.

cmg0125 said...

One thing I think you should do is add a little bit more detail and something like once they got into the house, they saw a shadow or maybe a black cat crossed their path while they were in the house. But overall, I thought it was pretty descent.