"Zombies Attack"
BOOM!!! Bobby heard something slam into his house. He didn’t realize what was going on so he had to look out his window and he saw havoc everywhere he looked! There were cars on fire people burning screaming there heads off. He was so disturbed that he couldn’t bear to watch and he went to go watch the news to see what’s going on. That’s when his only thirteen year old son broke through his door. His son stood there as bloody as a butchers knife. Out of no where he started to attack him. Trying to bite him and scratch him. He was wondering where his wife was when he needed her most, when she came through the door. "Hey honey, you want to help me out a little!?!" screamed Bobby as his son bit a huge chunk of his hand off. Then she attacked as well so Bobby had to do something that he grabbed his gun and gunned them both down. He sat there crying as his wife and son lie there lifeless and wondering what was happening. When he turned on the news he saw the same thing as outside of his window on the T.V. and he started to go crazy and ran through the door screaming and he took his pistol and shot himself in the head.Derek was already in the mall when heard a lady scream! He ran to the entrance as did many people where they heard the scream and he saw a lady screaming because he baby dog outside the mall when the zombies attacked! She was trying to take apart the barricade that was holding the zombies back. But it was to late the lady had already taken it apart and was trying to get her dog when the zombies grabbed her and ripped her apart limb by limb and devoured her. There were hundreds of thousands of zombies outside the mall and that one lady was not enough for all of them so they stormed in and ate anyone they could. People were so scared that they were tripping over there own two feet to try and get away from them. Some people were smart enough to go to the gun shop or the hardware store to get weapons. Others were not lucky enough to get away, other people tried to help them but they got grabbed by the zombies and were eaten alive. Derek was in fact one of the smarter ones who raided the gun shop as fast he could and ran up the upper levels of the mall where the zombies could not get to.
He met up with some of his friends like Drew, Fred, Scott, Tim, and his girlfriend Amy. They were not sure what they would do now that the zombies have penetrated the walls and were inside the mall. But Derek had suggested a plan to reach the top of the mall to wait for a helicopter. But that included going all the way down to the basement and taking the maintenance elevator up to the roof which the elevator was two levels down. This meant that they had to go down stairs and face the zombies to get to the elevator. Scott argued "NO! No way at all am I going down there, did u see what those things did to everyone". But Derek said "But it’s the only way to actually have a chance to survive".
So they bickered and argued till they heard another scream and they ran and saw a women being eaten alive and they took their weapons and either fired or beat down the zombie. The lady was half dead with one arm ripped partly off. They tried to save her but they were too late so they had nothing else to do and walked away when that same lady that was being attacked got up and attacked Fred. They just realized that if u were bitten from a zombie then u would turn into one to so Fred had been bitten and he threw her off the ledge and she broke her neck on a chair. So everyone was sorry to say that they had to kill Fred because he had been bitten. So Derek took his pistol and shot him in the head and that was it Fred was dead.
So they knew that they had to start to try to get up onto the roof. Derek climbed down the stairs and made a run for it as did the others. Shots were fired and you could here the banging of bats hitting heads. Drew tripped and was taken over by the zombies so they never saw him again. No one ever looked back so they did not notice till they were at least one-hundred feet away and they couldn’t turn back and you could here the screams of Drew from all over the mall. They got down to the basement and took the elevator up to the roof and waited for the whole night and then a helicopter finally came and we all got out of there safely except for Drew and Fred.
7 comments:
I liked this story. Many people died in this story. It was good that the characters were saved. There was too much violence though. I liked the hook.
First off, i loved the onomatopoeia that you started out with. This story almost made me pee in my pants.I also liked the character names you included. great story and I noticed that you put a lot of detail in it. That is what will make you a great writter someday!
I liked the sory it was good. I saw a couple grammar errors but overall I liked it. It reminded me of a movie. Good story.
That was really detailed, i could almost picture the girl and wife attack the husband.It reminds me alot of the dawn of the dead. also it was great word choice and when you said " you could hear the bats hitting head" i could hear the sounds. its aslo good because its not jus a happy ending where everyone live, two people dont make it which makes the ending better. great story.
I liked your use of words. For example, "havoc", good word choice. I also liked the fact that there was 2 people in the story that were going through the same nightmare and were connected. Good job =)
that was really good. i liked the detail you put in such as when the lady broke her neck, when you killed off some of the main characters and ended it with some the of characters to stay alive and get saved.
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